If Europe isn't possible for next summer... as it may not be... would anyone like to go on The Goth Cruise with me?
Eh? Eh?
Goth Cruise info...
Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend, otherwise I'd make him go...
And I may have a job.. but lo and behold, I WILL go on a goth cruise....
Yeah... that's right... I will.... if I have to drag one of my non-goth friends down to the Caribbean all dressed in black and make them dance.. I will....
Yeah....
Monday, 30 June 2008
Friday, 27 June 2008
It's Europe!
Agent Pink, Agent J and I have decided to leave Agent Fish behind and travel one of the most beautiful places in the world... Europe! Yay!
We'll go next summer, hit up Iceland (my hopefully home away from home someday) and drop down to Europe from there... oddly enough, it's cheaper to fly to Iceland and then to Europe than to just fly straight from here to Europe. Weird. Shorter flight, too. Not sure exactly how long we'll be there or how many countries we'll hit, but we will go and it will be so amazing to travel with my girls! No boys, no school, no distractions.... it'll just be three true friends together.... as all three of us love art, history, museums, good food and good drink (although I do enjoy the drink a wee bit more than they), we won't have a hard time deciding where to go... we all want to see Europe...
Together we'll be much safer, we'll be able to go places a singular girl or even a duo of girls could go to... I know Spanish, and I think Agent J may know some Italian, as she's been to Italy before... and with Agent J's previous experience in the country, we'll be a bit more knowledgeable than doing it all on our own...
Oh boy!
We'll go next summer, hit up Iceland (my hopefully home away from home someday) and drop down to Europe from there... oddly enough, it's cheaper to fly to Iceland and then to Europe than to just fly straight from here to Europe. Weird. Shorter flight, too. Not sure exactly how long we'll be there or how many countries we'll hit, but we will go and it will be so amazing to travel with my girls! No boys, no school, no distractions.... it'll just be three true friends together.... as all three of us love art, history, museums, good food and good drink (although I do enjoy the drink a wee bit more than they), we won't have a hard time deciding where to go... we all want to see Europe...
Together we'll be much safer, we'll be able to go places a singular girl or even a duo of girls could go to... I know Spanish, and I think Agent J may know some Italian, as she's been to Italy before... and with Agent J's previous experience in the country, we'll be a bit more knowledgeable than doing it all on our own...
Oh boy!
Hmmmm.... Ponderances...
What about a pink cupcake, with little skully sprinkles, and possibly a cute little batty with his tongue sticking out over the top of it, his wingies around the cupcake? It would certainly embody the uuumm.... well, I can't say it here...
Eh?
Eh?
My tattoo artist could make it major cute, too....
Eh?
Eh?
My tattoo artist could make it major cute, too....
Hives?
Hmm.... just like everyone else, I, too, am breaking out into hives... it's all over my forearms and the lower part of my left bicep, the backs of my calf muscles.... it looks almost like poison ivy, but it's not.
Shit-tay.
Shit-tay.
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Decided...
Skulls usually don't do it for me...
However... cute skullies? That's something different...
Being goth for over ten years, I need a way to commemorate that....
My body isn't perfect.. it isn't some sacred temple that I fear to desecrate... it's not an object of worship or lust for another person or myself.... it's more like a house.... I live in it... what makes me special and important is all unrelated to my house... and what makes other people love me is not my house...
As well as that, as a woman in this society, so frequently I am told that my body is not my own... that, in order to be important, my body has to fit into certain parameters so that someone will "want" me, some which I have fallen victim to myself... I can't be fat, or be unshaved, or have short hair, or many, many other things.... tattoos are one of those things.... and tattoos are one way for me, as a woman, to reinforce the idea that my body is my own.... in order to get a tattoo, I have to earn my money, get into my car, drive to a tattoo parlour and make a decision about MY body for MYSELF.
So... following these trains of logic... I will get my skully tattoo...
Besides, life is short....
Or, as Nekromantics say... "Life's a grave... dig it!"
However... cute skullies? That's something different...
Being goth for over ten years, I need a way to commemorate that....
My body isn't perfect.. it isn't some sacred temple that I fear to desecrate... it's not an object of worship or lust for another person or myself.... it's more like a house.... I live in it... what makes me special and important is all unrelated to my house... and what makes other people love me is not my house...
As well as that, as a woman in this society, so frequently I am told that my body is not my own... that, in order to be important, my body has to fit into certain parameters so that someone will "want" me, some which I have fallen victim to myself... I can't be fat, or be unshaved, or have short hair, or many, many other things.... tattoos are one of those things.... and tattoos are one way for me, as a woman, to reinforce the idea that my body is my own.... in order to get a tattoo, I have to earn my money, get into my car, drive to a tattoo parlour and make a decision about MY body for MYSELF.
So... following these trains of logic... I will get my skully tattoo...
Besides, life is short....
Or, as Nekromantics say... "Life's a grave... dig it!"
Oooh, Breathing...
The neon green and yellow gunk is easily dislodged from my lungs now... ooh... you get that sharp crack in the middle of your cough and--voila!--a mouthful of neon colored, thick, deceases bacteria mucous cumes.... oh yeah, that's some good stuff...
My energy is coming back... there's no sweating, dizziness or fatigue... well, a bit of fatigue, but very little and if I just keep on keepin' on slow and steady it's not a problem...
My energy is coming back... there's no sweating, dizziness or fatigue... well, a bit of fatigue, but very little and if I just keep on keepin' on slow and steady it's not a problem...
Home!
It's about time...
Oh, how I've missed Boston.
Now.. it's a summer of homemade food, relaxation and outdoor festivals...
Sweet.
Oh, how I've missed Boston.
Now.. it's a summer of homemade food, relaxation and outdoor festivals...
Sweet.
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Crabby....
I am so crabby... the meds help the pain out a bit, but not completely, and it's making me very crabby...
F))&^$D@@*^(78
I am so agitated by people that try to make themselves important in my life, for good or for bad. Does it ever occur to you that you just don't register on my fucking scale of caring? If I'm angry with the way a man treated me (taking my time for granted and just assuming I want a relationship when I obviously don't), why the hell do you think you're the problem? Like we've even seen each other enough for this to be a problem... twice in four months.... are you serious? So then you want me to take time out of my day to explain to you that no, you aren't the person I'm angry at... because, why? Because I otherwise wouldn't even take the time out of my day to think about you? Or are you not able to pick up on the fact that it's obviously not you, as you haven't done any of the things I've so far mentioned, as we've only seen each other twice....
People are retarded and can't read.
If I'm writing about somebody that has sent me poetry, and you haven't, well, then my two brain cells say that I'm not writing about you then, am I?
Dee-dee-dee.
But I've already wasted too much time thinking about this stupid thing that doesn't matter... but then, that's why it pissed me off so much... because it didn't matter...
"Oh, now I know where my place in your life is..."
Excuse me?
Your place is as that guy I hung out with once with a group of friends. That's your place.... like I don't live four hours away and have my own goddamned life, friends, responsibilities? Like positively nothing has happened in the last four months of my life except hanging out with you that once? Oh, wait, I saw him a second time for about an hour, again with a group of people.
Buuuuut, you know... I have absolutely nothing else going on... so of course....
Maybe I'm so angry that lately so many men, and yes, they've all been men, have lately been treating me like I have nothing better to do but them... yeah, that is what I'm so pissed about... they waltz in like they're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Uuuh... no. No, and uuuh... no.
And to add insult to injury, two of them are college drop outs that work at Wal-mart.
Yeah, oh, and add that to the family member that recently was in town and asked me to help him find drugs and sluts.
No lie.
The other Agents.. J, Pink, and Oreo... have all found wonderful others that would never treat them like this... and I am so happy for them.
I'm glad at least to have the ability to discern the pricks from the rest of the batch.
Man, that's really getting to me... and I've been getting a lot of it, too.... like I don't have any focus to my life... this blog may be misleading, as I blog when I'm lonely, those few times I miss my ex, or having a boyfriend around... what I don't blog is when I'm out with my friends, is when I'm happy, when I'm with my family, when I've had a great day. I don't blog about those moments so much because I'm out there enjoying them...
I hope I don't give off the impression of desperately lonely and needing somebody to come in and save me... well, except Agents J and Pink... heheh... a lot of phone calls have been going out to them to calm me down and help figure out this language thingie... it's all good.
Man.... this is a pretty awful rant, with horrid writing... I shouldn't post it.. it's worthless and just makes me look like a whiny little bitch...
But it's in the spirit of blogginess that I post anyway...
F))&^$D@@*^(78
I am so agitated by people that try to make themselves important in my life, for good or for bad. Does it ever occur to you that you just don't register on my fucking scale of caring? If I'm angry with the way a man treated me (taking my time for granted and just assuming I want a relationship when I obviously don't), why the hell do you think you're the problem? Like we've even seen each other enough for this to be a problem... twice in four months.... are you serious? So then you want me to take time out of my day to explain to you that no, you aren't the person I'm angry at... because, why? Because I otherwise wouldn't even take the time out of my day to think about you? Or are you not able to pick up on the fact that it's obviously not you, as you haven't done any of the things I've so far mentioned, as we've only seen each other twice....
People are retarded and can't read.
If I'm writing about somebody that has sent me poetry, and you haven't, well, then my two brain cells say that I'm not writing about you then, am I?
Dee-dee-dee.
But I've already wasted too much time thinking about this stupid thing that doesn't matter... but then, that's why it pissed me off so much... because it didn't matter...
"Oh, now I know where my place in your life is..."
Excuse me?
Your place is as that guy I hung out with once with a group of friends. That's your place.... like I don't live four hours away and have my own goddamned life, friends, responsibilities? Like positively nothing has happened in the last four months of my life except hanging out with you that once? Oh, wait, I saw him a second time for about an hour, again with a group of people.
Buuuuut, you know... I have absolutely nothing else going on... so of course....
Maybe I'm so angry that lately so many men, and yes, they've all been men, have lately been treating me like I have nothing better to do but them... yeah, that is what I'm so pissed about... they waltz in like they're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Uuuh... no. No, and uuuh... no.
And to add insult to injury, two of them are college drop outs that work at Wal-mart.
Yeah, oh, and add that to the family member that recently was in town and asked me to help him find drugs and sluts.
No lie.
The other Agents.. J, Pink, and Oreo... have all found wonderful others that would never treat them like this... and I am so happy for them.
I'm glad at least to have the ability to discern the pricks from the rest of the batch.
Man, that's really getting to me... and I've been getting a lot of it, too.... like I don't have any focus to my life... this blog may be misleading, as I blog when I'm lonely, those few times I miss my ex, or having a boyfriend around... what I don't blog is when I'm out with my friends, is when I'm happy, when I'm with my family, when I've had a great day. I don't blog about those moments so much because I'm out there enjoying them...
I hope I don't give off the impression of desperately lonely and needing somebody to come in and save me... well, except Agents J and Pink... heheh... a lot of phone calls have been going out to them to calm me down and help figure out this language thingie... it's all good.
Man.... this is a pretty awful rant, with horrid writing... I shouldn't post it.. it's worthless and just makes me look like a whiny little bitch...
But it's in the spirit of blogginess that I post anyway...
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Better!
I have meds!
Yay!
They think I'm not sick, but it's like stress and allergies on crack... either way, the medicine they gave me is making me feel much, much better...
I'm watching BBQ specials on the Travel Channel.. I always watch these shows for some reasons at this time of year... BBQ is awesome...
I am so hungry for some pulled pork... mmmm.... nummy.... that's on my to-do list.... to travel for some real BBQ.
Yay!
They think I'm not sick, but it's like stress and allergies on crack... either way, the medicine they gave me is making me feel much, much better...
I'm watching BBQ specials on the Travel Channel.. I always watch these shows for some reasons at this time of year... BBQ is awesome...
I am so hungry for some pulled pork... mmmm.... nummy.... that's on my to-do list.... to travel for some real BBQ.
Friday, 20 June 2008
Sick..
Oh man...
Dr. appt. at 1:45... feel like I'm giong to die... the only reason I made it through the night (two asthma attacks later) is because I happened to find leftover cough syrup with some pretty heavy duty pain medication in it... I was able to sleep for a bit.
It feels like the back of my throat has been burned and there's concrete in my lungs... I coughed until I retched and I feel feverish and weak and dizzy.
But, fortunately for me, today is the last day of school.
Yay! for summer vacation.
I will be going home on Tuesday... and I plan on sleeping through the weekend, hopefully there'll be some good movies on... Pride and Prejudice was on this morning, and last night (when I couldn't sleep for all the hacking) so was Charade... I think that's what it's called, with Carey Grant and Audrey Hepburn.. oh, those old movies are so good...
Hopefully at the Dr. today I'll get some nice cough medicine to help keep the fluid coming up and the pain down... yuck... it's been a while since I've hurt like this... my immune system needs a good boost if I'm going to have contact with so many people all the time...
Dr. appt. at 1:45... feel like I'm giong to die... the only reason I made it through the night (two asthma attacks later) is because I happened to find leftover cough syrup with some pretty heavy duty pain medication in it... I was able to sleep for a bit.
It feels like the back of my throat has been burned and there's concrete in my lungs... I coughed until I retched and I feel feverish and weak and dizzy.
But, fortunately for me, today is the last day of school.
Yay! for summer vacation.
I will be going home on Tuesday... and I plan on sleeping through the weekend, hopefully there'll be some good movies on... Pride and Prejudice was on this morning, and last night (when I couldn't sleep for all the hacking) so was Charade... I think that's what it's called, with Carey Grant and Audrey Hepburn.. oh, those old movies are so good...
Hopefully at the Dr. today I'll get some nice cough medicine to help keep the fluid coming up and the pain down... yuck... it's been a while since I've hurt like this... my immune system needs a good boost if I'm going to have contact with so many people all the time...
Thursday, 19 June 2008
3:30 pm
Finished.
Not so hot...
But whatever... it'll at least get me a C... hopefully a B... and with the best of luck on my side, an A.
It is late... but only by 20 minutes. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself... perhaps not... it's time to make that long walk home and go to bed...
Yay! I can indulge my sickness. Yay!
Not so hot...
But whatever... it'll at least get me a C... hopefully a B... and with the best of luck on my side, an A.
It is late... but only by 20 minutes. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself... perhaps not... it's time to make that long walk home and go to bed...
Yay! I can indulge my sickness. Yay!
1:38 pm
... sitting in the library... 3 pages left... it's simply a matter of finishing up the chunks of paragraphs I have left... this will not be an A paper... at least, I'm afraid it won't be... my educations is important to me... but I'm so tired...
It is dark in here... dark and creepy... normally I don't mind being here during the afternoon when everyone is in class... but there's something about today... it's ominous, almost... maybe it's the silent campus, with finals in progress... maybe it's the misty rain you can see outside... it's almost hovering, not even really falling...
Maybe it's my body being all too aware of being sick... I have a pretty nasty fever... the back of my throat is bubbled up and red like it's been burned... I'm exhausted and there's mucus in my lungs... Dayquil is my savior... if I use my inhaler and drink a lot of water I can breathe alright, but it's like there's concrete at the bottom of my lungs, making me tired and heavy...
I've been sick more times this year than I have in all the time since I've had my tonsils out... stress does wonders on the body.... but tomorrow, tomorrow I can sleep all day...
It is dark in here... dark and creepy... normally I don't mind being here during the afternoon when everyone is in class... but there's something about today... it's ominous, almost... maybe it's the silent campus, with finals in progress... maybe it's the misty rain you can see outside... it's almost hovering, not even really falling...
Maybe it's my body being all too aware of being sick... I have a pretty nasty fever... the back of my throat is bubbled up and red like it's been burned... I'm exhausted and there's mucus in my lungs... Dayquil is my savior... if I use my inhaler and drink a lot of water I can breathe alright, but it's like there's concrete at the bottom of my lungs, making me tired and heavy...
I've been sick more times this year than I have in all the time since I've had my tonsils out... stress does wonders on the body.... but tomorrow, tomorrow I can sleep all day...
10:51 am
Five pages left in five hours...
Two will be taken up for my final class meeting...
Ay-yi-yi...
Well, if it's only a couple of hours late, that'll be okay, too... not good, but not failing...
Could be worse... my room mate is defending his thesis... poor girl...
However, I need to shut my eyes, just for a bit... I did manage to get three and a half hours of sleep last night between three-thirty and seven... sweetness.... I'd be fine if it weren't for the fact that I'm sick... last night brought a fever, which really impedes the ability to think clearly... but regardless.... this time tomorrow, I'll be snuggled up in bed sleeping...
Two will be taken up for my final class meeting...
Ay-yi-yi...
Well, if it's only a couple of hours late, that'll be okay, too... not good, but not failing...
Could be worse... my room mate is defending his thesis... poor girl...
However, I need to shut my eyes, just for a bit... I did manage to get three and a half hours of sleep last night between three-thirty and seven... sweetness.... I'd be fine if it weren't for the fact that I'm sick... last night brought a fever, which really impedes the ability to think clearly... but regardless.... this time tomorrow, I'll be snuggled up in bed sleeping...
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Gopher...
Where do I go to get one of those? Y'know, a gopher ice cream, a gopher cold medicine, a gopher anything that will stop this burning in my throat...
Getting sick the night I have to pull an all-nighter is not the best feeling in the world...
In fact, it makes me feel pretty lonely, and I don't often get lonely...
This time next week I'll be nearby my friends and family, wishing desperately I had my own space and quiet time...
But today, I wish I had a cute boy to bring me more Dayquil and ice cream for my sore throat, to keep me motivated and on-task tonight... is that something I can pay for? Just for tonight? Tomorrow is pizza day! And he'd get in the way, so I don't want to keep him...
Hrrmmm... the Rockstar would do it... he's moving back in town in two weekends... a week after I move out.... hahah... but mayhaps he'll be here next semester... it's so nice that we're friends...
... Six days and I'll be at home, with nothing left to do.... oh, yay!
8 pages left...
Getting sick the night I have to pull an all-nighter is not the best feeling in the world...
In fact, it makes me feel pretty lonely, and I don't often get lonely...
This time next week I'll be nearby my friends and family, wishing desperately I had my own space and quiet time...
But today, I wish I had a cute boy to bring me more Dayquil and ice cream for my sore throat, to keep me motivated and on-task tonight... is that something I can pay for? Just for tonight? Tomorrow is pizza day! And he'd get in the way, so I don't want to keep him...
Hrrmmm... the Rockstar would do it... he's moving back in town in two weekends... a week after I move out.... hahah... but mayhaps he'll be here next semester... it's so nice that we're friends...
... Six days and I'll be at home, with nothing left to do.... oh, yay!
8 pages left...
The Sweetest Thing...
Naptime!
Beautiful... I haven't slept a great for the last couple of nights.
For me, a nap is something personal.. it's like yoga for the lazy and sleep-deprived...
Beautiful... I haven't slept a great for the last couple of nights.
For me, a nap is something personal.. it's like yoga for the lazy and sleep-deprived...
Monday, 16 June 2008
One Long, Long Day...
It started out beautiful... full of rompy-stompy gothness and goodness...
Pretty soon it was full of frustration, excessive amounts of homework and shit to do, embarassment, and more frustration...
Things are looking back up now, after a long walk alongside campus... brick buildings lit up and filled with people on one side, and dark and silent trees on the other side.... it was nice... some creep stopped his car in the middle of the road, stuck his head out of the window and looked at me, but then moved on... don't know what that was about... but it was strange...
It's time to pull out the gothbuns and the boots and relax...
*Deep sigh*
One more week, and this year is over with... beautiful...
As my professor said today, "I hope this week is over soon, I'm just barely hanging on by my fingernails..."
Pretty soon it was full of frustration, excessive amounts of homework and shit to do, embarassment, and more frustration...
Things are looking back up now, after a long walk alongside campus... brick buildings lit up and filled with people on one side, and dark and silent trees on the other side.... it was nice... some creep stopped his car in the middle of the road, stuck his head out of the window and looked at me, but then moved on... don't know what that was about... but it was strange...
It's time to pull out the gothbuns and the boots and relax...
*Deep sigh*
One more week, and this year is over with... beautiful...
As my professor said today, "I hope this week is over soon, I'm just barely hanging on by my fingernails..."
Sunday, 15 June 2008
Popcorn Chicken And Rootbeer Floats!
Life can't get much better...
Adversity can bring out the best in relationships sometimes... it can point us the way, show the true nature of a person's soul...
Aaah... sentimental goth is coming out.. It was the ice cream... especially free, surprise ice cream, in rootbeer float form... that'll make somebody sentimental...
Also, lack of sleep...
My vision is getting fuzzy.
Adversity can bring out the best in relationships sometimes... it can point us the way, show the true nature of a person's soul...
Aaah... sentimental goth is coming out.. It was the ice cream... especially free, surprise ice cream, in rootbeer float form... that'll make somebody sentimental...
Also, lack of sleep...
My vision is getting fuzzy.
Because I'm A Snarky Little Thing....
"in truth you've visited my thoughts often since we've met. i do still hope that you give me a chance to court you. you still have my interest and even this e-mail makes me smile. =)
with purrr of darque,
shaun"
Heheheheh....
I'd love a bottle of champagne all to myself... too bad...
And I think I'll buy those boots tonight.... why not? I'm worth it.
with purrr of darque,
shaun"
Heheheheh....
I'd love a bottle of champagne all to myself... too bad...
And I think I'll buy those boots tonight.... why not? I'm worth it.
Friday, 13 June 2008
Obnoxiously Cute Tattoo?
I've been wracking my brain over the next tattoo... since my tattoo artist is going to be moving, I need to put a rush on it....
How about an obnoxiously cute skull? Something similiar to this... except perhaps my artist can work in the word goth for her teeth... not entirely certain... it's something I know I'd hate when I was older... but I'd infrequently see it.. perhaps one more like this? It could have some shades of pink and purple, go great between my swallows on my back...
Hrrmmm...
Oh, and I'm thinking of doing some full back wings.... yeah... hardcore... but what the hell... it's my body to be used for my own purposes...
Hmmm.. not sure... but as soon as I decide for sure, it's on... oh yeah!
How about an obnoxiously cute skull? Something similiar to this... except perhaps my artist can work in the word goth for her teeth... not entirely certain... it's something I know I'd hate when I was older... but I'd infrequently see it.. perhaps one more like this? It could have some shades of pink and purple, go great between my swallows on my back...
Hrrmmm...
Oh, and I'm thinking of doing some full back wings.... yeah... hardcore... but what the hell... it's my body to be used for my own purposes...
Hmmm.. not sure... but as soon as I decide for sure, it's on... oh yeah!
If I Weren't Goth...
... I'd be all rockabilly.
... I'd be all ska.
... I'd do a mohawk.
If I were athletic... I'd be a rollergirl! Mwah-ha-ha!
But I'm not.... I'd die...
So sad... it's the only really cool sport for goths...
Except snowshoeing... hahah....
... I'd be all ska.
... I'd do a mohawk.
If I were athletic... I'd be a rollergirl! Mwah-ha-ha!
But I'm not.... I'd die...
So sad... it's the only really cool sport for goths...
Except snowshoeing... hahah....
In Over My Head...
The simple idea of writing a quick little 9 page paper on American Sign Language poetry has quickly developed into headlong dive into psycholinguistics. And with all of 5 days to get it all done and handed in.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm dying.
Dying...
....dyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg.....
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm dying.
Dying...
....dyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg.....
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Headache...
Ugh...
It's getting worse and worse and worse.... I can't concentrate, I can't seem to do anything... and I have so much to do...
Crazy day today... friggin' crazy... but all I want to do is cry and sleep, but I can't even sleep because I have so much shit to do... I hate this time of year.. my head hurts so bad my stomach hurts because of it...
I want to go home... I want summer....
I want my sweet rockstar here to hold my hand or my mom to tell me everything's going to be okay or any sort of relief... it's so bad tonight... I just can't seem to handle it...
Gah!
One more week to go.. and then I'm free... until fall anyway...
It's getting worse and worse and worse.... I can't concentrate, I can't seem to do anything... and I have so much to do...
Crazy day today... friggin' crazy... but all I want to do is cry and sleep, but I can't even sleep because I have so much shit to do... I hate this time of year.. my head hurts so bad my stomach hurts because of it...
I want to go home... I want summer....
I want my sweet rockstar here to hold my hand or my mom to tell me everything's going to be okay or any sort of relief... it's so bad tonight... I just can't seem to handle it...
Gah!
One more week to go.. and then I'm free... until fall anyway...
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Bad Attitudes....
I'm more than alright with bad attitudes... we are each allowed to have our own attitudes for our own reasons. Mine, quite frequently, is bad. That's okay. I'm allowed it....
However... each person is allowed their own attitude on their own time... having a pissy attitude, swearing, acting rudely and belligerently while on a group's time is not only in bad taste, but is ineffective, disrespectful and wasteful. Waste your own time, not someone else's. If you are going to come to group, bother to do what the group asks you to do. Otherwise, why would you show up? You don't have to....
Again, I understand bad days... we all have them... we all make the mistake of taking them out on someone else.... but this was such inappropriate behavior for an adult that could have just excused him or herself from the situation.
Challenges are good for me.... last group was such a gift.... as is this group.... but this group appears to have more challenges for me to face... and the sooner I can overcome them, the better equipped I will be for future challenges....
It's almost impossible not to take to heart, though.
However... each person is allowed their own attitude on their own time... having a pissy attitude, swearing, acting rudely and belligerently while on a group's time is not only in bad taste, but is ineffective, disrespectful and wasteful. Waste your own time, not someone else's. If you are going to come to group, bother to do what the group asks you to do. Otherwise, why would you show up? You don't have to....
Again, I understand bad days... we all have them... we all make the mistake of taking them out on someone else.... but this was such inappropriate behavior for an adult that could have just excused him or herself from the situation.
Challenges are good for me.... last group was such a gift.... as is this group.... but this group appears to have more challenges for me to face... and the sooner I can overcome them, the better equipped I will be for future challenges....
It's almost impossible not to take to heart, though.
Oh, Extreme Mouth Pain...
It's better today.... but yesterday was hell... they had to cut out a piece of my gum that was overlapping one of my molars and getting infected.... they made it sound like a simple procedure, and it really only did take half an hour... but it was agonizing, even with 9 shots of novicaine in me....
*shudder*
I'm not one to spare the gross details of anything, but I just can't think of it again right now...
*shudder*
I'm not one to spare the gross details of anything, but I just can't think of it again right now...
Strange Dreams...
No nightmares... hahah... at least, I didn't feel like they were...
Last night my dreams consisted of myself and the person I hate worst in the world... shopping, laughing, eating ice cream, watching movies, sharing hairdressers.... I was still aware that I hated her, but apparently she lost all of her animosity toward me.
Odd...
And then I was trying to snowshoe down the sidewalks... and was desperately trying to catch up to these guys that were snowboarding on a... is it still called a half pipe? -- I think so... in a movie theatre....
Weird, weird and weird...
I woke up before my alarm went off, feeling warm and fuzzy.... I was able to fall asleep easily, no insomnia... despite obsessively checking my messages until late at night, and a stint of crabbiness and bad memories... I think I'm actually happy again....
Last night my dreams consisted of myself and the person I hate worst in the world... shopping, laughing, eating ice cream, watching movies, sharing hairdressers.... I was still aware that I hated her, but apparently she lost all of her animosity toward me.
Odd...
And then I was trying to snowshoe down the sidewalks... and was desperately trying to catch up to these guys that were snowboarding on a... is it still called a half pipe? -- I think so... in a movie theatre....
Weird, weird and weird...
I woke up before my alarm went off, feeling warm and fuzzy.... I was able to fall asleep easily, no insomnia... despite obsessively checking my messages until late at night, and a stint of crabbiness and bad memories... I think I'm actually happy again....
Monday, 9 June 2008
Colors...
I've decided I don't like the way people treat me now... my hair, instead of being long and glorious and black (like it was a year ago) is now short cropped and blonde...
... People are a lot nicer... a lot more polite... not like they were when I had dark hair.. when I looked "more goth."
See here for beautiful colored extensions...
I need something good and goth looking... I'm tired of all this fake people bullshit.. I'd rather they treat me like crap and be honest about it, than to mistake who I am and be polite. They can go to hell...
Hmmm... well, a my hair will grow speedy quick and I'll get them in...
The pink and lime green are cute... as are the pink and black, red and black, purple and black... hmmm.. and just straight up black... ha ha ha...
Soon, my friends... soon...
... People are a lot nicer... a lot more polite... not like they were when I had dark hair.. when I looked "more goth."
See here for beautiful colored extensions...
I need something good and goth looking... I'm tired of all this fake people bullshit.. I'd rather they treat me like crap and be honest about it, than to mistake who I am and be polite. They can go to hell...
Hmmm... well, a my hair will grow speedy quick and I'll get them in...
The pink and lime green are cute... as are the pink and black, red and black, purple and black... hmmm.. and just straight up black... ha ha ha...
Soon, my friends... soon...
Saturday, 7 June 2008
Ah, That's The Stuff....
I had a wild night last night... no time for details now.... it did, however, involve falling down... sweeeeet!
But it was lots of fun....
Now I have lots and lots more homework left to do... and research and reading and all sorts of fun stuff. Woot. No... no not really...
...especially when I have a hot man laying around in his underwear, just waiting for me to show up.... damn broken vagina!
*Sigh*
Hee hee hee....
Weird... deja vu... hmm...
Nice deja vu.
But it was lots of fun....
Now I have lots and lots more homework left to do... and research and reading and all sorts of fun stuff. Woot. No... no not really...
...especially when I have a hot man laying around in his underwear, just waiting for me to show up.... damn broken vagina!
*Sigh*
Hee hee hee....
Weird... deja vu... hmm...
Nice deja vu.
Thursday, 5 June 2008
The Truth And Nothing But The Truth...
I just can't live without my tweezers...
In fact, I don't know many people that can...
And I have so far lost BOTH of my tweezers...
Now, I paid the 15 bucks to have my eyebrows waxed, but let me tell you, I have a lot more body maintenance left over... and you know, I am just NOT spending another $9 on tweezers when there are two here... somewhere.... in this mess...
And my signed Mushroomhead shirt is STILL MIA, as is the comfortable, soft, long-sleeved green t-shirt I last wore it with....
Hrrrmmm....
Oooh, and cute outfit day tomorrow! New little red dress, cute strappy summer heels, perhaps even my skully skimmers... top it off with my old-school spider pin...
Oh yeah.... I can't wait...
Heheh... it's nice to have the warm weather rolling back around, have some more freedom in my wardrobe...
I'm going to go pull my futon apart and dig in my closet more... (Homework? Hahah!)
.... maybe my polka-dot dress is in there...
In fact, I don't know many people that can...
And I have so far lost BOTH of my tweezers...
Now, I paid the 15 bucks to have my eyebrows waxed, but let me tell you, I have a lot more body maintenance left over... and you know, I am just NOT spending another $9 on tweezers when there are two here... somewhere.... in this mess...
And my signed Mushroomhead shirt is STILL MIA, as is the comfortable, soft, long-sleeved green t-shirt I last wore it with....
Hrrrmmm....
Oooh, and cute outfit day tomorrow! New little red dress, cute strappy summer heels, perhaps even my skully skimmers... top it off with my old-school spider pin...
Oh yeah.... I can't wait...
Heheh... it's nice to have the warm weather rolling back around, have some more freedom in my wardrobe...
I'm going to go pull my futon apart and dig in my closet more... (Homework? Hahah!)
.... maybe my polka-dot dress is in there...
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Oh, Strange And Brave New World!
I've missed blogging... very much so... the loss of my identity is a sour point, particularly concerning the specifics of the situation in which I was forced to give it up.... apparently, no contact orders don't apply to Google or Blogspot.
So here I am.... thankfully not alone.... there are others!
So here I am.... thankfully not alone.... there are others!
*Shifty Eyes*
After unwillingly giving up my much-coveted url and code name, I return as Morbid.Mistress (A.K.A Agent Goth).
*Shifty Eyes*
You are not here.
*Shifty Eyes*
You are not here.
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