That's my problem.. I'm an english major, and I don't write anymore... ever since last September, my writing has changed, my opinion and feelings toward writing, my writing style... and, most of all, my will to write...
Blogging did help.. it helped with a lot of venting and feedback and struggling and warmups and even a few postings that I think really were good writing.... but all in all, I'm just not the writer that I was... but now I need to be again, and I'm really worried that I've forever lost what I so loved...
But worse than that... if I can't relearn how to write and how to enjoy it, well, what the fuck am I doing still as an english major?
And worse yet... the only teacher this semester that is teaching advanced writing, which I did sign up for, knowing that he is the only one teaching it, is a teacher that I can't stand... I can't... I just can't stand him.. we conflict so heavily upon our personal values in love and war and politics and writing that we just don't mesh personally.. and that's fine... ideally, that would not interfere with the educational process.... but ha! That is ideally, and not at all realistic... he looks down upon all of my ideas and suggestions in class because he and I share such polar ideas that he can't see the value in my input in class... and hey, that's fine, I just hate being made out to be an idiot in class when I'm not, and when my ideas are valid and based upon something more than simple opinion. This is not meant as an insult to my teacher. He is not intentionally doing anything other than his job. He is a good professer that many people respect and have learned a lot from... just not me... it happens to every teacher and every person on this planet.. it just sucks that it has to happen to me in a class that is important to my major... more than just important... fundamental...
Bah.
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